A Question

So let me ask a question: If no one in the NFL actually wants to abide by the bylaws drafted during the collective barganing process...why in the fuck do they even have a Union? I'm getting real tired of this "Holding out over the Franchise Tag" bshit.

Hey assholes, if you guys didn't get played to play a fucking game, you'd be flipping burgers. Let's be honest, 90% of y'all didn't get better than 600 on your SAT's. And the only reason you got to college was because you played ball... Just take the fucking 7 million and shut the fuck up. It's 7 million dollars. 7 million dollars to excersize for 20 hours a week and play a game for two.

7 million dollars....

Shut the fuck up

Its been a while...(Yes I am Bald and Fat but I'm not singing shitty pop hard rock)

Video Games: Well let me see, considering I don't buy any new games(that doesn't mean i don't buy games, just used 5 dollar ones because I still have only a PS2): I would like to let you all know that I just won my 3rd major in TW Golf 04 with a 44 under(St. Andrews)

Sports:

Basketball: My buddy is a huge bulls fan/the biggest basketball fan I've ever met, so i am midly excited about the bulls on the verge of sweeping the heat. Of course by the heat, they mean all of the ben gay that is wafting off of their bodies whose collective age minus DWade is 2,341. Somehow the Nets are in the playoffs? Yeah, I think its time to restructure the Conferences. The East is BSHIT



Hockey: Flyers aren't playing so I don't really care. And since no one is allowed to hit in the regular season anymore ZZZZZZZZZZ!!!! Yeah I know, It takes alot of skill and athleticism to play hockey but i like it as much for the violence as i do for the finesse. What can I say, I'm a flyers fan? I had to watch the playoffs last year with a bunch of sabres fans(long story). Worst experince of my life.

Football: Wow, the draft's coming up. I'm real stoked for the season to start so i can either get excited about the eagles and then have McNabb take too hard of a shit and be out of the season by traning camp , or to watch the bears hold another team to 7 points and still lose because Rex Grossman will be 2 for 41 passing with 21 yards. Once the season starts I'm sure it will be awesome but i don't care until late august at the earliest.

Baseball: Can't watch the Phils actually play so the best i get is live boxscore. Has to be the worst way to follow baseball in the world-slugs fuck faster. I miss having cable.

Soccer: Its a good thing we have a growing Latino Population in the US, otherwise no one would watch that shit.

Professional Wrestling: This woman i work with loves the WWE. She goes to wrestle mania and everything. She's a 40 y/o AA woman who is a very nice lady except she smells like rotten pussy 4-5 days a week. So every time i think of Professional Wrestling, i can smell that, and I start to vomit in my mouth a little.

LOOK WHO'S BRANCHING OUT

It's the "other sports" post! Let's get this party started.

HOCKEY -- Well I know the Rangers are still in it, because I always see Rangers-jersey wearing clowns in the MSG vicinity. Are the Devils still alive and kicking? I typically only root for the non-Ottawa Canadian teams in the playoffs, so go Flames, Oilers, Canucks, Canadiens, and anyone else I might have forgotten. I miss the Jets. Anyway the Flyers were the worst team in the whole darn NHL so I have really nothing to contribute here.

B-BALL -- Zzzzzzzzzzzzz. Would be nice to see Golden State upset the Mavs, just because. I'm also pulling for the Nugs due to the A.I. factor. Beyond that, no interest. I usually pull for the Nets too, and I'll continue to do so, as long as Bruce Ratner stays the fuck out of my hood.

FOOTBALL -- The draft is on this weekend! Totally awesome! Yeah, I don't care about the draft. The Eagles pick is really late -- mid-20's or something right? I don't know who they'll select because I don't follow college football, I mean I know they're targeting secondary help, as they should, but basically I find the whole NFL draft obsession so maddeningly boring I don't even feel like finishing this paragr

WII SPORTS -- Vegas is listing me as doubtful (Wii elbow).

BOXING -- De La Hoya fight should be alright. Almost certainly won't watch it (not even sure when it is, in all honesty).

PRO WRESTLING -- I had a weird dream last night: I was in Jurassic Park, and the water in the glass was doing the ripple thing, and I could hear the dino stampede coming -- but instead of raptors it was a huge gaggle of Luna Vachons!

PHILLIES BASEBALL -- Only game in town, homie. Won their 5th in a row tonight, by the way. They are hitting with runners on base (bound to happen; no team bats .100 with RISP for an entire season), the bullpen has been fine, and Utley is finally waking up; meanwhile Rollins, Burrell and Rowand (!!!) continue to be awesome in '07. My first regular-season Phils game is this Sunday (Moyer v. Dontrelle) and I couldn't be more excited. GO PHILS!

First post in 2 weeks

Well, haven't been on here for a while, tired of all the Phillies posts on a "sports blog"..... which is sad seeing as how I started this blog and should control the content. Controlling the content would be controlling my friends thoughts though, and that's just not cool, and I've quickly learned the only sport my friends care about is Phillies baseball this time of year. Nobody else posting stuff other than Phillies makes me not post anything other than Phillies cause lets face it, the other posters are the only people who check this shit. Why I'd start this blog at this time of year and expect them to write about anything other than only Phillies is just playin' ol' stupid on my part.

(note to self, must make clearer to friends that will be posting that "This is not supposed to be a Phillies blog" in a way that is clearer than telling them "This is DEFINITELY NOT supposed to be just a Phillies blog" if I will be starting a blog with them)

Put one in the win column for the Phightin Phils

Jamie Moyer was just what the phillies needed yesterday after that horrendous game on wednesday. He threw a 2 hitter through the 8th, and they gave him a change to pitch a cg. It was unfortunate that he ran out of gas and was unable to complete that game. Tom Gordon came in with a runner on second and tried his damnedest to fuck that game up. the only good pitch he threw the entire time was the last one. it was a nice curveball which jammed the batter. It was a nice pitch and all, but the only reason it worked, was that he was only throwing fastballs before that to everyone. Up until i saw him pitch yesterday i was a fan of flash, but now i think he is done. I seriously think he has to get a career ending injury or get a bionic arm.

I like the move of brett myers to the bullpen. He is for sure one of their better starters, but i think they can afford to make him a closer. He does pitch strikes, has good control and has strike out stuff. Mitch Williams even said Myers reminded him of himself. I think more like a Mitch with command of his pitches. I only hope that the Phils don't jerk him around back and forth between starting and relieving. Brett seems like the kind of guy that would take to a setup/closing role well. As far as I can tell, he seems like an aggressive player that wants to be out there every day, he did a good job in wednesday nights games. But that is not enough to sell that move. I need to see him pitch a couple more times.

I do not like the fact that Howard was injured on wednesday and stayed in the game. Charlie Manuel ran out of guys on the bench. He sucks, his management skill are terrible. He should go back to the american league or be a hitting coach somewhere else. I really wouldn't mind it if Girardi got that job. But that will not happen. He got fired from florida because he talked back to the ownership and I doubt the owners of the Phils want someone like that here. I think he would be a good fit though, he would whip this team into shape. Uncle Charlie won't be fired until july at the earliest and that's only if the phils have the same winning percentage they have now. I'm not throwing the towel in on this season yet, but the phillies certainly are not helping me out any.

P.S. I kinda miss Scott Graham, Gary Mathews Sr. is terrible. He makes Larry Anderson tolerable and has ousted Mike Quick as my least favorite Philadelphia broadcaster.

UNCLE CHOLLY

Y'know, I've defended Uncle Cholly for the past two seasons, basically on the premise that baseball managers don't really matter in the grand scheme of things. But I'm not so sure I can continue defending him after the completely, utterly ridiculous shift of Brett Myers to the bullpen. And after this quote --

"We think Myers will, over the course of the year, get in 65-70 games, probably. As a starter, it would be 35." --

Well, come on. That is idiotic. CHOLLY!!

Dice-K & NHL playoffs

So the Phillies are 0-9 with the bases loaded on the season, and they have them loaded again as I'm writing this post, so no Phillies post except for this update. Wes Helms trying to break the streak.

Dice-K is pitching on channel 35, and the NHL playoffs are on channel 37, so my TV viewing is very easy for the next few hours. We'll start with Dice-K.

He's fucking awesome. (Wes Helms 3-0 with the bases loaded) Dice-K is painting the corners with his filthy breaking balls, and then throwing 94 gas on the corner. (Helms walked, still loaded, still 0-9, now it's time for Rowand to break the streak) I now see what the big fuss is, every pitch he throws is right around the strike zone, and with the crazy breaks and varying breaks, he's getting calls. How can you, as an umpire, be ready for all his different pitches and be able to accurately call a game? I'm not saying his strikes aren't all strikes, but damn they're all close, so he gets more calls than a 14 year old with a MySpace account. (Rowand, 3-2 count) As a batter, how do you protect against all the breaking balls (Rowand walked, still 0-9) and then be ready for the 95 mph heater? Fucking ridic, I wish I could just watch the NHL playoffs, but I'm entranced by Dice-K and this is my first time watching him. (2-2 to Barajas) My Cy Young prediction is in, nobody's going to figure this guy out this year, maybe next year a'la Hideo Nomo, but I don't see it. (Barajas gets hit, still hitless on the year but got a run home by being fat and slow, pitching change for the Mets)

As for the NHL playoffs, as a hockey fan, I haven't watched any games this year. Why? Just not interested. The penalties are called way to tight, the players are diving like soccer players, and the quality of play that I've seen just hasn't kept my attention. That all changed with the drop of the puck in the Sens/Pens game. Hockey playoffs are the best part of the sports year, better than the NFL playoffs where 1 and done just doesn't build up the intensity of a 7 game series, better than baseball where 4 hour 9 inning games are not out of the question, and basketball is only a sport during the NCAA tournament, where 1 and done still doesn't equal a 7 game series. (Phillies now 0-10 with the bags full, Eaton the pitcher struck out, but they got 3 runs home so this one is excused a bit)

The playoffs in the NHL means more hitting, which has been lacking in the games I've caught parts of. I started watching hockey right after we got Lindros on the Flyers, when we had a line full of fighters/hitters (Dan Kordic, Daniel LaCroix, and Scott Daniels.... the Dan line), and our defensemen could barely skate (that's you Therien) but man could they drill guys. Now, the NHL has done away with hitting by over-calling penalties like a soccer match and making people scared to touch each other some games. The result has been players diving like Europeans, and since alot of them are, calling the game like a soccer game of course leads to more diving. It's in their blood apparently. This all changed in the first 3 minutes of the first game of the playoffs, with bodies flying all over the place and no illegit penalties called. Welcome back real hockey.

I'll go more in depth after a few more playoff games and a few more Dice-K appearances that I can watch, but as of now, 2 of my 3 things on TV that I don't want to miss are the hockey playoffs, and Dice-K pitching. It's gonna be a good month on Vs. (Heroes is the 3rd thing on TV, c'mon April 23... c'mon....)

And the m8r jinx is on again, since I've started writing, Dice-K has given up 2 more runs to make it 3 in the first 5 innings. Anybody else who picks Dice-K for the Cy, you've been warned.

Ombudsman revisited/Phillies day off

So people disagree with me on how I feel the new ombudsman at ESPN handled the Cowherd issue. No problem with that. 2 questions to any of you.

Should she have mentioned the fact that what he did was against the law? It's basically the cyberspace version of inciting a riot IMO. (Technical computer terms.... DoS or DNS attack, I'll stick to riot cause it sounds scarier than DoS, like a command prompt that shuts down your business)

Should she have mentioned that ESPN.com had NO mention on their own website other than her column about coverage of the issue, the same week that they completely over-covered the Imus comment that was said in jest?

I disagree with Imus, but his was joking, he even was laughing as he said it. I still think he should have been suspended like he was, but ESPN over-covers a comedic slur and don't mention at all a comment meant to ruin a business?

As an ombudsman, she addressed the issue, sure. But did she address it completely fairly? I still say no. She would not have any "power" to do anything about it, but mentioning all aspects is what I feel she's there for and open as many eyes as possible. Not just to mention the aspects that show ESPN is covering their ass as much as possible.

Anybody feel that Cowherd should not be suspended? Then the ombudsman did her job.
And I'd like to hear your argument for why he should not be suspended.

Last time I talk about this crap. A non-Phillies non-ombudsman post coming next. This blog needs more that ISN'T the Phillies, or it would be called a Phillies blog.

m8r

surprise surprise

i am honestly surprised. pat burrell is doing well so far. i'm glad, it's like he gives a damn. he's making some plays in the field, i liked the diving catch he made the other day. it looks like he's swinging more at that inside pitch. his obp is at .500 he's got the second most rbi's he's one of two hitters hitting over .300. things are looking up for the patmeister. he keeps playing like this and he might actually get some cheers instead of boos.
i'm also glad that jimmy rollins is doing well to start. he's hitting like a maniac. he's leading the team in hr, slugging percentage, rbis, and runs scored. did you see him hit that inside the park homerun against the marlins? that was incredible. he is playing his ass off. really, he kind of has to after his preseason predictions.
i realize it's only six games in. pat the bat was a bit of a question mark and i really hope he keeps it up. if jimmy rollins keeps hitting like this, they may have to move him out of the lead off spot.
you know what i am also surprised about? alfonseca. i was really not sure if he was going to be effective or not. right now he seems like their go to guy. you know who's also pitching his ass off? clay condrey. he really doesn't want to go up to ottowa. can't say i blame him. homer simpson had it right when he called canada "america junior". he almost tied the record for consecutive strikeouts by a phillies reliever. he keeps that up, we may have found our elusive setupman/closer.
it's really a shame that we only have two batters with averages over .300. it's a potent offense on paper, but i'm sure i say that every year. hey look at that, speaking of pitching his ass/arm off. cole the pole just struck out two in the first inning.

The new ESPN.com ombudsman is worthless

I don't know who reads this site, or who cares even about sports journalism related stories, but I guess it comes under the banner of "Sports" and it involves ESPN, so I get to talk about it.

Colin Cowherd, an ESPN Radio personality, decided on his airwaves to ask his readers to shutdown www.thebiglead.com just because he could. Here's a link or two to information about Colin vs. thebiglead.com. Sure, thebiglead.com has said unfavorable things about ESPN, but that's what these sports blogs are for, to make fun of shit, and ESPN is so big that there's plenty of stuff/people to make fun of. It's why we make fun of fat people, there's just to much to ignore. ALL sports blogs make fun of ESPN sometimes unless they blog is owned by ESPN, in which case they've sold their souls anyway so who wants to read them.

I was a little upset that one of the websites I check daily was shutdown for 48 hours, but not as upset as I was reading ESPN's first response on espn.com. Their new ombudsman, a woman who's 62 years old and lives in bumblefuck New York (right in touch with the sports journalism world, and her age puts her at the perfect age to.... die, soon hopefully) gave this as a response.

Lets say I own a radio station, and one of my personalities does something to shutdown a business for 48 hours, which is precisely what Schrutebag did (Schrutebag is the nickname the sports blogs of Deadspin, KissingSusyKolber, and Withleather came up with in TheBigLead's absense), then I'd punish said personality in some way. Not ESPN, they just let all their journalists know that this will not be tolerated. I'm sure they said it in a very menacing tone, or an e-mail with caps to let them know they're serious. DO NOT DO THIS THIS IS NOT OK THIS IS IN CAPS SO YOU KNOW WE MEAN IT!!!!!

Basically, they're saying that Schrutebag gets a free pass because there was never an express written rule on the book not to crash a website, even though it is against the law to do so. ESPN Radio should have suspended him immediately, anything other than simply issuing a warning to all personalities that THIS WILL NOT BE TOLERATED!!!!!

The worst part is the ombudsman's response. She was specifically picked as the ombudsman to call out ESPN when shit like this happens and they don't respond appropriately, instead she basically says that all is OK because they issued the strong warning. If you look, they actually used italics to show how serious they were. Her job is a week old, she had her first chance to call out ESPN from the inside, and she screwed it up worse than a Romo hold. She said since there wasn't a rule on the book, and now that there is, ESPN did a fine job in quickly getting that rule on the book. Ummmmmm, shutting down a business is OK? You didn't know it wasn't OK? Well, now that we have the rule, you know. That sounds like logic meant for a 4 year old, they do something wrong, you teach them it was wrong, then punish them if they do it again. She really fagged out of this one.

Call out The Worldwide Leader, say he should be suspended, make people interested in what you have to say for the next 2 years. That would have been speaking for the common man, thinking like someone who does not work for ESPN. Instead she stayed completely in the middle, saying it was wrong, but the response was OK and never mentions any repercussions that could have/should have happened. What the fuck good are you if you don't even call out your company's employees when they are blatantly wrong?

Here's to another 2 years of ESPN going farther down the toilet without anybody from the inside helping to fix it, even the woman hired to do just that.

(The fag out link is not gay porn for those of you not following the story, it's Billy Packer being hilarious)

m8r

Wanted: David Montgomery

It's time for Monty to go. Its Time. We've had two GM's with the same results: Glaring Bullpen deficencies and an inability to manufacture runs. We've had what, five managers in the time span as well?

The buck has to stop somewhere. And that somewhere has to be the front office. We've let our farm system rot into the ground. Our free agent signings have been questionable at best. Thome was the best signing in the entire time frame, and he had one good season in Phill. This year, we pick up a pitcher whose never had a winning season(or a complete one for that matter), a bunch of filler outfielders , and shoddy bullpen pieces.


It's time to Show Monty the door. Let fucking Giles make the decisions. That way, when the team still sucks, people might actually do what they need to do, which is boycott this team.

Maybe then the whole mantra of spending money to make money will sink in, and we can get the ball rolling. Were in arguably the toughest division in baseball, and make personell decision that rival a last place AL team.

What the Fuck? Thats all i can say. What in the holy god of fuck, are they thinking?

I'm actually happy i live out of market. And that is sad.

Falling back into baseball, part 2

So, basically hockey ruled with action, baseball bored with slowness. Hardcore sex vs. making love. Now that I'm older, I appreciate both again, just like I'm sure I would have appreciated both back then if I got either.

It's tough coming back around to baseball because I've basically missed 10+ years of the sport, and also that means that I'm 10+ years out of touch with the history of the sport. The shenanigans that they pull adjusting, wandering, scratching, nose picking, etc. between pitches adds to how tough it is to get back into the sport on a nightly basis. But then again, foreplay's not always my strong suit either. I like the action. I've come to terms with baseball now for what it is, something to watch on a nightly basis that is a step up from anything else on television that's not named Heroes, Jeopardy, or Wheel of Fortune, and it's right on the same level as Deal or No Deal (unless it's a Schrutebag contestant) and The Black Donnelly's.

The playoffs are another problem with baseball. Instead of being more interesting, they're actually less interesting because you get Joe Buck (hate him) the awful Fox broadcast, and the shenanigans between pitches are even more pronounced (they're allowed a little bit due to cold weather, I understand, but it's ridic.) Throw in the extended commercial breaks, the 14 pitching changes needed from the 5th inning til whenever the game ends, and the games drag on worse than a night at the bar when you realize after you're drunk, it's karaoke night. The playoffs are supposed to suck me in and make me want to watch, not drag out every tiny nuance that makes baseball a 3 hour game instead of a 2 hour game, now creating a 4 hour monster.

So, hockey, took me away from the sport, I aged a little, started coming back around to it, and now it's up to one simple fact if I'm going to be hooked into watching it on a nightly basis.....

Can the Phillies win a game?

Youth Sports/Why I'm not so into baseball Part I

I might have finally figured out why I'm not so into baseball anymore...... ice hockey/roller hockey. This is part one, so there's no real point here yet, just background info. Hopefully I wander into something of a thesis in part 2, or part 3 if I can't do it in part 2. We'll see what I vomit onto this screen through my keyboard.

As a kid, baseball was my sport. Sure I played in basketball and soccer leagues, even kept playing in a travel soccer league one year after I stopped playing travel baseball. Remember when playing a sport in a "travel" league made you feel like a big shot? And I sucked at baseball, and I still made the travel team. I couldn't pull the ball at all, but still managed to get on base all the time thanks to good hand eye coordination and poking it to the opposite field. Basically, I bailed out all the time like a bitch but put my bat in the right spot while bailing. Looking back, this makes me feel like less of a man-child and makes me realize that really, I was just a nerd who enjoyed sports. It's like looking back on your family's old house that you remember as being amazing, then just realizing when your mom shows you where you used to live, it was a fucking trailer. And I thought I was an athlete growing up, pussy little m8r bailing out playing baseball. If I was in the stands 11 years ago watching my little self play, I'd be yelling "What're you scared of, the balls coming 43 miles an hour" and "Jesus, don't bail out, they put in the special needs kid to pitch and he's throwing the ball with a claw that's attached to his crutch!"

But I digress

All those sports ceased to matter once I found the amazing sport of roller hockey around my 12th year of existence. It's like realizing you've been playing Civilization your whole life when there's Warcraft 2 out there. Lets make that analogy work somehow. Civilization (Baseball I realized organized basketball sucked at all levels about age 8 and soccer, well, we're in America, nobody cares about it) is a fine game. I've played it a few times and enjoyed it while I was playing it. There's one problem, it's so fucking slow. Turn based gets old, especially if you're playing against someone who has to make the perfect move, every move, even if it's just where to put his first fucking building for optimal movement later in the game. Warcraft 2 however (hockey) was amazing. You mean, I build up my land at the same time the other people are building theirs? The game doesn't take 7 hours? There's action every few minutes? Fuck Civilization, I'm never playing you again, Warcraft 2 forever!!!

Just like baseball vs. hockey.
Playing roller hockey, there were several realizations.

First, it's a sport I could play with just a couple other people, you needed a goalie, and 2 others. Baseball, you need a lot of people otherwise it's just one guy hitting, and a bunch of assholes chasing down his flies. And yes, chasing mine down were easy, cause I even bailed on in batting practice. This is a major selling point when you don't have any transportation other than your own 2 feet or your roller blades/bike after school on a weekday after school. We almost always, every day Monday-Friday had a game of roller hockey somewhere. This is why I'm comparing roller hockey in the street and organized to just organized baseball. The only time you play baseball is organized, hence THE major selling point of roller hockey being able to play it and actually have fun everyday as a kid.

Second, I'm never standing around unless I'm a goalie, and in roller hockey, since we struggled to get enough people/equipment for 2 goalies, the one goalie almost never stood around anyway. Baseball you're always standing around. Batting as a kid, everybody had to hit, so there were 13 or so people in the lineup, not just 9. This means you got 2-5 PA's a game (I had an excellent K/PA ratio as a child) depending on how many automatic outs there were with hitters 6-13 on your team. Those parents of the automatic outs were so cruel, when your kid hasn't gotten on base unless the other team said "Hey, lets let this guy hit off the tee now, sure he's 13, who cares?" or the other team brought in their girl pitcher to face the bottom half of your lineup, wouldn't you realize you're just scarring your kid for life?

And third, physical contact/physical exertion. I know now that I was a pussy for bailing out at the plate, but I figured it out at age 12 that I was a pussy for playing baseball, period. Jesus fucking christ, hockey's a real sport, especially if there's no ref and you're playing on blacktop with no helmets or pads (except the goalie, we weren't stupid). Sure, we wore the pads our parents bought us while we learned to skate, stop, etc. But soon as we could get around out there, the pads were collecting dust more than Liza Minelli's vagina. Roller hockey made you skate, hustle, and hit. Baseball made you stand, swat gnats, and wish you were dead some games. Hockey I sweated when playing, baseball I sweated while standing in the sun. Hockey I came home with bruises and scrapes and blacktop burns, baseball I came home with a shitty tan and bug bites on any exposed part of my body.

There's more to come, this post is long enough already, this is what happens when I get a full day off that's not a weekend, and I wake up at 8:30 am.

Utley Rebut...ley

First off: Awesome! Glad to see the use of numbers in baseball discussions, rather than relying on "gut feelings" (no matter how large those guts might be). The reason baseball is the best sport ever invented is because literally every single action performed on the field of play can be represented by a number. The least we can do as baseball fans is pay attention to those numbers. I didn't know about that Utley/Burrell strikeout rate thing; now I do, and I am a better baseball fan for it.

I will say this, however: Strikeouts really aren't a big deal. I know they make baseball players look silly, and therefore get baseball fans all hot and bothered, but an out is an out is an out, and strikeouts are just another way of making outs. Really, which stat is more significant, K/PA ratio or OBP? Last year Utley OBP'd .379, by the way; Burrell got on base at a .388 clip. I'll concede that this makes Utley more valuable than Burrell by virtue of his position -- a .379 OBP from a 2B is freaking outstanding -- but still. By any objective measure, whether Phillies fans want to hear it or not, Burrell is a valuable asset in a lineup. Ignore dumb stats like BA (or even worse, BA with RISP). A hitter's only job is to get on base, and Burrell does that at a high rate. He's good. He was good in '05; he had virtually the exact same year statistically in '06 (true; you can look it up); and he'll be good this year, despite what 40,000 booing dopes at CBP would have you believe.

Know who isn't good? Adam Eaton. Holy hell, how are the Phils paying this guy $8 mil a year? At least Gil Meche had the decency to win his first start as an overpaid mediocrity. Eaton didn't even bother. Hey Bolger: Remember when the Phillies traded Eaton and two other guys for Andy Ashby? Remember who those other two guys were? No fair asking Jeeves!

Matsuzaka

Every website recap of his first start will be something along the lines of "He's worth every penny of the 103 million they spent for him after one start" when what they should be saying is "He looked good his first game, lets see how teams start to adjust to him once some film is around and he faces all the teams/players a couple times." Pitchers who switch leagues tend to overachieve at first because the hitters haven't seen them before, kind of like the guy who bangs an amazing girl a few times, then she learns his tricks. Eventually, she catches on that he's not "flush from being hot", the redness is actually a rash, and he's not "whiskey dicked" he's just small dicked. Matsuzaka's not just switching leagues, he's coming all the way across the Pacific. Hitters might catch on that Matsuzaka's whiskey dick is actually just a change in speed on his breaking pitches to slow them down even more, and they'll sit back an extra 1/10 of a second, and his flushness is actually throwing his fastest fastball after 3 consecutive extra slow breaking balls, and they'll be ready for the 96 heater instead of the 93 they've been seeing all game. Major league hitters might eventually catch onto his pitching once they see him and have some tape to study, lets wait to see if he's worth the money until a couple months in the season.

I believe he's the real deal, why? I don't know. Just a feeling. All time great? Who knows, I've never seen him pitch yet, except for his strikeout pitches that they showed on the 6pm SportsCenter that I turned on as his highlights are coming on. Apparently, he does hit 95 in the late innings as well as the early ones, so the stamina's there which is big in the majors (esp. if you have 'pen questions). In this calendar year, the Sox will pay a total of near 70 million to have him on their team, what is actually worth 70 million dollars over the course of 1 year? It's a short list.

*The ability to be invisible for a year
*The ability to stop time
*The ability to have spontaneous cell regeneration
*The ability to paint the future.....

And any other of those superpowers on Heroes, except the becoming a nuclear bomb when you get angry, or that super hearing thing, they just seem annoying. I can't think of anything tangible that over the course of 1 year, I would pay 70 million dollars for, only super powers. Still, for 1 game, people will say Dice-K was worth every penny. And they're the experts.

On a side note, so far this season I've watched parts of 2 Phillies games (missed the first, thought I could watch it at work cause it was on CBS, then got to work and realized "shit, I have to actually watch these kids they're paying me to pay attention to" and boy did that realization suck after I walked in the job after lunch and planned on turning it on). The highlights from what I've seen.

Game 2, turned it on in the bottom of the 8th, Phils up, man on
*Victorino driving someone home with a double for a 2-run lead in the bottom of the 8th
*Victorino thrown out stealing third, which apparently he tried doing on his own accord
*Howard getting thrown out trying to go from first-home on a shot off the wall (2nd and 3rd outs on the basepaths)
*McCann *sp?* game tying 2 run homer in the 9th of Flash (need a real closer from 2007, not 2000)
*The Phillies not threatening from the 9th-11th inning
*Madson giving up a homer in the 11th

Game 3, turned it on after work in the bottom of the 9th, bases loaded, 2 out, 0-0 count
*Ruiz first pitch swinging against a new reliever to fly out and end the game

I turn them on, they start sucking more than white guys playing HORSE. The m8r jinx is in full effect.

m8r

utley = awesome, malphie = not awesome

although now that i look at it, utley is less prone to strike outs than howard or burrell. yes, he did have 132 strikeouts, second on the team. however this was over 658 at bats. this means that he struck out about 20% of the time, or 1 in 5 at bats.
burrell did have one less strike out at 131, but it was over many less at bats, 462 to be exact. that means he strikes out about 28% of the time or 1 in 3.5 at bats. i'd say that's significantly worse.
howard, however, had 181 strike outs, second in the national league, over 581 at bats. that puts him at 31% or i every 3.2 at bats. even worse than burrell.
so the statement that utley is less strikeout prone is completely true and not just in a marginal way. an 8 or 11 percent difference is huge. so matt you can suck it.
also if you want to look at it with plate appearances instead of just at bats here's the breakdown:
utley 132 so in 758 tpa = 17% or 1 in 5.7
burrell 131 so in 567 tpa = 23% or 1 in 4.3
howard 181 so in 704 tpa = 26% or 1 in 3.9
even those numbers speak volumes, and that is just last season.
here's 2005
utley 109 so in 543 ab and 628 tpa = 20% and 17% respectively oddly similar to 2006
burrell(good year for him btw) 160 so(second most in the nl, right behind adam dunn, who also was in front of howard last year) in 562 ab and 669 tpa = 28% and 24% not too dissimilar from 2006
howard 100 so in 312 ab and 348 tpa = 32% and 29% a little worse than 2006 but not by much.
here's a little more info for you:
burrell
year so/ab
2004 29%
2003 27%
2002 26%
2001 30%
2000 34%
there's some consistancy for you.
the evidense is clear, utley is clearly less prone to strikeouts than howard or burrell

Baseball season is upon us, and....

I've written and deleted this post several times already, from several paragraphs that were scratched to just a few words, so now it's gonna be put into a post bullet style, because the thoughts aren't coming out in full sentence/paragraph form correctly (or maybe they have been, and I just don't want to admit it in the full form). So here it goes-

*I've been saying for months since football ended that I'm excited for baseball season to start
*I'm a lifetime Phillies fan
*The Phillies have 161 games left
*The Phillies should be quite good this year
*I'm already sick of Phillies banter on this blog, Malphie's comments explain partly why
*I most likely will not be tuning into watch them unless I am with other Phillies fans or at a bar
*I enjoy baseball
*I enjoy following baseball
*I enjoy following the Phillies
*162 games is a fucking long season
*I will follow the Phillies mostly through internet news and CSN Philly


What does all this mean? Well, that's what I kept writing and deleting, how I'm "not a real fan I guess" if I can't even sit and enjoy a full game by myself. If the Phillies 33rd game was on TV, and the women's NCAA volleyball tournament was on at the same time, I'd watch more of the volleyball, no doubt.

Or maybe I'm just beginning to realize baseball's at a point where playing the game is becoming secondary to the "gamesmanship" of delaying, wandering around the mound, resetting every piece of equipment between each pitch while batting, etc. which is basically just wasting a bunch of time instead of pitching and batting and I'm just tired of it. The game is currently to slow to be enjoyed by itself in my opinion unless you are over analyzing and dissecting and basically trying to solve all of the Phillies problems on a night to night basis from your couch.

Or maybe 162 games is truly just to long a season, and I realize that the only part that matters is August IF IF IF our Phils are still in contention.

Or maybe I'm just a Philadelphia fan and my subconscious is smart enough not to let me watch the games because they'll let me down no matter how certain it is that they win with the only pitching staff in the division (Florida, it hasn't been 5 years yet, you can't be good).

Or maybe my TV and internet are possessed and keep showing any channel or webpage that has bouncing boobies on it to distract me.

This post was started at 9:30 PM, then I went to play tennis, and came home to finish the post at 12:15 AM and lost my train of thought. Then again, as stated, I wrote shit and deleted it several times way back at 9:30 anyway, so maybe I didn't have a train of thought and am just rambling. There's a point to be made somewhere, I'll elaborate more later. I'm as shocked as any to write this post, as my first bullet point was, I've actually been looking forward to these coming months, or so i thought.

To make up for this gigantic waste of time, here's something to waste more time with. Except you won't regret that waste.
m8r

Opening Day

Well, myers looked reall good. 9 k's! Thats pretty exciting.

Whats up with Utley hitting cleanup? Why? Why? Why? No, he hits third, and howard bats fourth. Simply because of the fact that we don't really want Pat having to hit behind Howard when he gets walked....so what. You had a whole offseason to address that problem and the best we could get is Wes Helms.

Once again the phils proved that in 14 years they still can't:

1) Produce Runs. We had 11 hits over the game and only 3 runs. Compare that to the braves today who only had 9 hits and 5 runs...

2) Have a bullpen who can win a game for a guy who goes 7 innings and only gives up 3

In all fairness had we gotten number 1 done, we would have one the game. The bullpen was good. Madson just blew it in the 10th(What a suprise).

Oh well, first game...

What we think of Pat Burrell's last 3+ years

Here's a link to what most of Philly thinks of Pat Burrell

Top 5 games

Here's my top 5 games of all time that I've played. They are all multiplayer for good reason, playing games by yourself in my opinion should only be done for one reason, to get better at the game to kick your friends asses when you play multiplayer. Here it goes

5- Mario Kart (64 best, SNES 2nd best, Game Cube distant third)
4- Counter-Strike
3- StarCraft
2- Madden 06/07 (play me, I'll smoke ya)
1- Super Smash Bros. (Melee best, 64 a closecloseclose second, but the midair dodge puts melee ahead, and like Madden, play me, I'll smoke ya)

These games were what I came up with off the top of my head in about 10 minutes, so they could change, but it looks like a pretty damn good list to me.

Hair and sports

Watching the NCAA Florida/UCLA game tonight, and something just struck me, how fucking stupid are you as an athlete to have long hair? Watching Jahomo Noah (gets the name for the hair and the flaming womens tennis-esque screams every 5 seconds, more on that in a minute) I realized how stupid it is to have long hair. Here's the reasons-

1. You look like a fucktard
2. It gets in the way
3. More hair=more sweat not getting off your body
4. You look like a humongous fucktard

There's other reasons I'm sure I missed, but those are a few good ones. It's even dumber in sports that involve helmets, why would you want something getting in the way of that piece of foam and plastic protecting your brain? I understand athletes brains aren't always the smartest, but they do trigger all the motor skills that get them athletes paid, so I'd protect mine as well as possible. Long hair makes the helmet slide and fit less snug, which in turn makes it protect your brain less, which in turn makes you a fucktard. You think Ricky Williams was always this dumb? Hell no, not until he started wearing his hippie dreadlocks or whatever you want to call them and got his brain scrambled a little did he become dumber than Anna Nicole.

On to the screaming, if it's a badass dunk, yell. If you swat a shot into the mezzanine, scream your heart out. If you're fouled under the basket, trying to throw a pass, don't yell. You look like a pussy. If you make a shot, get fouled lightly, and are granted an "And 1" at the line, don't yell for 10 seconds like you are the man, your screaming just looks retardedly stupid. If you're playing tennis, and you're a male (or a Williams sister) don't yell. Yelling in tennis should be reserved for Maria Sharapova and other women who are attractive like her so us men watching can imagine they are orgasmic screams, not an incredibly stupid part of the sport. What does yelling accomplish other than making people look at you and think "Jesus, that guy just scored 2 out of the 200 points that will be scored in this game, what the fuck is he yelling for?"

What I've realized from this post, and from watching this Florida game, is that Noah should be shot before there are more guys who try to be like him. He looks like a tall, scrawny guy that people focus on because of the yelling (announcers call it intensity, dumbasses) and the hair (stands out) instead of the fact that at the next level, he's gonna get torn up. On second thought, don't shoot him. Let him fail at the next level. On third thought, shoot him, because even if he fails at the next level, his yelling and faghair will have gotten him millions of dollars that he can yell at. Shoot him now

Fantasy Baseball Lineup

So I signed up for a fantasy baseball team on MLB.com, which has to be the easiest fantasy baseball program of all time. No indivdual pitchers, u draft an entire staff...crazy. I was not present for the draft. I figured i'd be free at midnight on Saturday Morning but instead was Passed out drunk in bed. All in all the Computer did a good job.

So heres my lineup(assuming all of my waivers clear, which they will):

Brian McCann
Bengie Molina
Jason Bartlett-Waiver-Released Cesar Isturis
Nomar Garciparra-Waiver-Released Mark Teahen
Freddy Sanchez
Edgar Renteria
Manny Ramirez
Jim Edmonds
Andrew Jones
Travis Hafner
Kaz Matsui- Waiver-Released Jorge Cantu
Josh Willingham- Waiver-Released Ryan Freel

Pitching Squads

Milwaukee Brewers-Waiver Released Ny Mets
Florida Marlins-Waiver-Released Ryan Garko

I could really care less about how i do, i'm probably going to go the Ron Popeil Route(Set it and Forget it) with the starting 9 and only sub for injuries or when i care enough to switch for whose actually playing....

One game making your career (and bank account)

Read the new Sports Guy basketball blog, and came across an idea that I agree with, and will never understand. He says that Roy Hibbert of Georgetown will jump to the top 7 of the draft if he "handles Greg Oden" instead of being a late teens pick. Basically what he's saying is that one team in the NBA, will jump this guy 10 picks or so, based on one game instead of on his entire body of work. There are so many factors in him having a good game, defensive help, Oden having 1.5 hands at this point if you still believe his right hand is slightly injured, Oden just having a bad game... etc. that I will never understand this idea of one big game skyrocketing your draft stock.

The other guy who comes to mind with this, is JaMarcus Russell from LSU football, who jumped to potentially the number 1 pick after his game against Notre Dame in the Sugar Bowl. Never mind the fact that he came to the combine at Big Van Vader size or whatever crazy weight he was (ESPN still has him listed at 255 just to prove my point a little more) Never mind that Notre Dame's defense was apparently not all it's cracked up to be, all that matters is he won the big one on the big stage, and impressed people. The experts are fully admitting that one game jumped him from the second-fifth best QB in the draft to the first-second best QB in the draft, and they're the experts? If I were an NFL drafter, and my team had to pick a QB, I would NEVER pick one who came to the combine weighing 270+, that does not bode well for his work ethic. A good history of his college career is here and you'll notice a rookie season, an injured season, and an excellent season. Pro scouts would be looking at that and saying "Hmmmm.... this guy isn't quite proven yet, is there another direction we can go?" if it wasn't for his huge win. I watched the LSU/Notre Dame game and what I was thinking during it wasn't how good Russell is, it was how overmatched ND was in every aspect of the game. 2 TD's were thrown to wide open receivers, the lines got blown off the ball, and LSU's D was excellent, and JaMarcus gets all the credit? Doesn't make sense.

On the flip side, we have Brady Quinn. He went from sure number 1 QB to probable number 2 or worse in one game. Never mind as I just mentioned that his TEAM sucked that day, it's all his fault. He had nobody open, was under pressure, and yes, made some mistakes. When you are hit like a NASCAR wife all day, you'd make mistakes too. Why do you think NASCAR husbands shirts are always dirty? The wife's making mistakes from being hit to much. Brady Quinn had an excellent college career, but his whiteside.... I mean his upside isn't as good as Russell's apparently. He's gotta stop being a smart QB with all the tools necessary to be a good QB. ESPN even had this dig "Quinn will need the right scheme and solid pass protection in order to reach his full potential" NO FUCKING SHIT. So he shouldn't run the option in the pros, or get knocked on his ass a bunch.

One game makes or breaks draft stock, and yet they're the experts.

The only baseball prediction that is guaranteed to come true

comes from Joe Sheehan of Baseball Prospectus:

"Good subplot to watch: Pat Burrell being blamed when Ryan Howard drops 12 homers and 40 points of batting average, which would happen if Howard was protected by Jimmie Foxx."

Can't wait!

Bald Pricks Picks

Let me preface this by saying that 99% of sports to me is gut instinct and thats how i pick winners from losers most of the time. I know, i could actually care and read stats: I don't, i have better things to do with my time. Besides, most of my enjoyment comes from yelling at all stars when they half-ass their fielding-which is why i loved right field when Abreu Played.

The Reds will win the NL Central hands down. Besides the fact that their outfield is crap, they have pretty decent position players , and great pitching. Plus who wouldn't want to see the return of the Big Red Machine?

I also am salivating for when the cubs finish out of the playoffs with that ridiculous payroll they have. It will be fun to laugh in the faces of the Wrigley faithful on Addison once again this year. I hate the cubs!

Al East will be taken down by the red sox. Let's admit it, they have a better team than the yanks, and the blue jays will only be competitive when they can afford Vernon Wells and a team for him to play with. Its sort of like the Cavs and Le Bron but at least in basketball you have a fighting chance with a guy that good out there with no team.

The AL Central will once again prove to be the most competitive and the most enjoyable to watch of all of the leagues. Besides the Royals, pretty much everyone has a shot. Nothing like teams going on 28 out of 30 win streaks and still not gaining any ground in their division. Gotta love it. If i have to pick, i gotta go with the Twins

I could care less about the AL West. Theres only four teams in the whole damn division. Hell, someone should throw the Dbacks a bone, and move them to the AL. The Angels will regain form and win the division. The A's will be hurting without the big hurt, even if Norristown Mike(His rookie card has Valley Forge, what a liar!) hits .285/89/30, which isn't going to happen.

The NL West will be handily won by the Dodgers, who could possibly end up with the best record in all of baseball. Imagine the Phillies with an OF: nuff said.

And Finally: The NL East. This could end up being one of the funnest divisions to watch come September. Pretty much every team has a shot, if certain stars align. Of course, I am saying this with the understanding that the Washington Nationals are not actually an MLB team, therefore my statement is still true.

Do the Mets simply repeat last year? Fuck no! Not with Pedro out till July.
Will the Braves manage to return to their former glory? Its possible, but highly unlikely. Still too many question marks in that starting rotation.
Will the Marlins manage to win on pure young raw talent? Probably not, now that Joe Girardi isn't their Jedi Master
Can the Phils manage to stop being misers and spend some cash come july and get a legtimate RP and OF? Well, they had six months to do it, so i don't see it happening now. This team is doomed until we can get rid of Pat the Bat. Of course, that nickname has absolutley nothing to do with his Baseball abilities and at the same time is the only reason he ever got a contract extension: he puts Poon in the seats.

In a side note about Pat: I would still trade all the money in the world to watch some 12 year old Japanese Kid strike him out with the same pitch, high and inside every time. Maybe after strike three the kid could fly off the mound and put a roundhouse in his face and then nationally televise Pat crying and sobbing like a little bitch just like I'm sure he did after that cop almost hit him before Pat ran away to his Bat Cave Esque Pussy Pad in Center City.

Fuck it. Nationals Win. Everyone else is going to self destruct.


World Series(Not going to go through entire Playoffs)

Safe Bet: Twins/Dodgers. Dodgers in five.

These are the two most complete teams in baseball. True, the twins have some issues with their starting five, but they have so much relief pitching, it shouldn't be to hard to swing a fifth starter in a trade. The dodgers are clearly the team to beat in the NL. In the end, the Pros win over the kids.

Doomsday Scenario: Phils/Whitesox. Sox in six.

The Phils will come out and win the first two, and then get swept. Why? Because its what we do. Also, at the end of the series, the two teams will transform into a two headed Voltron of Ruben Amaro Jr and Ozzie Guillien, and they will fly to Venezuela and break Urbina out of Prison. Also, Jerry Reinsdorf will just buy the Phils once and for all so we can officially be the AAA White Sox. I'd be ok with a AAA team called the Phillies. Has to be better than the newly dubbed "Iron Pigs'. Sounds like a fucking band of merry Leather Daddies to me. Then again, it is Allentown?


Its Very Late...sorry. Goodnight

FANTASTY BASEBALL MOFOS

Yeah I meant to write fantasty. Because I just did fantasy drafts for two leagues, and lemme tell ya my rosters are looking pretty darn tasty. Check it out:

This is my ESPN league:

C -- Posada
1B -- Fielder
2B -- Kendrick
3B -- Zimmerman
SS -- Reyes
OF -- Andruw, Bonds, Cameron
Util -- Papi, Stephen Drew
Bench -- Ray Durham, Chris Young (D'Backs), Kouzmanoff, Sugar Shane, Iannetta

SP -- Peavy, Sheets, Chris Young (Pads), Kelvim Escobar, Anthony Reyes
RP -- Lidge, Jorge Julio
Bench -- Maddux

I admit this team is more offensively inclined. But darn, that's a good offense. The only pick here I wasn't in some way excited about was Julio, but what can you do. Rest is solid gold! Onto the Yahoo league:

C -- McCann
1B -- Kendrick (for some reason listed as a 1B in Yahoo, not sure what that's about)
2B -- Durham
3B -- Aramis Ramirez
SS -- Hanley Ramirez
IF -- Adam LaRoche
CF -- Beltran
OF -- Dunn, Brian Giles, Carlos Quentin
Util -- Alex Gordon
Bench -- Tulowitzki, Pedroia, Iannetta, Matt Kemp

SP -- Bonderman, Jered Weaver, Schill, Mussina, Capuano
RP -- Flash, Lidge
Bench -- Igawa, Broxton

This team skews way young (especially that bench), but I love the lineup and I love the rotation. Know what else I love? Dice-K is pitching at CBP this Saturday, and my ass will be there. Awww sit.

As far as season predictions go, let's say: Phillies win NL East in a squeaker over the Mets, whose rotation will be better than folks think. Brewers crawl out from a chaotic NL Central; meanwhile the Pads and D'Backs are the clear cream of the NL West. AL, well, can't go wrong with Yanks and BoSox in the East, the Indians will slug their way to the AL Central crown behind Pronk Hafner and AL MVP Grady Sizemore, and the Angels win the West by 15 games. Playoffs, let's go with...(I'm closing my eyes and pointing at the monitor)...Red Sox lose to...the Fightin' Phils! The finger has spoken. It is destiny.

this has to be one of the best things i have found in a while

i came across this today http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uLQRv0RjBBM. which is hilarious, and in turn led me to http://www.myspace.com/sadkermit and http://www.sadkermit.com. i know this has nothing to do with sports or video games, but i couldn't not pass this along. peace out.

more overpriced crap from microsoft

I don't know if you have seen this yet, but microsoft announced the launch of the xbox 360 "elite". see it here http://www.xbox.com/en-US/hardware/xbox360elite/default.htm. i guess it's not a bad deal if you don't already have a 360 and you have an hd tv. it's pretty much the same as the $400 system but you get 100 extra gigs, and an hdmi cable instead of component cables. seeing as i don't have an hdtv or the desire to own another xbox console, plus the wii kicks ass, i don't think i am going to pick this one up.
But, if anyone out there does, let me know how that goes.


beer o meter = 0

that's all folks

Looks like Urbina is NOT coming back to baseball anytime soon. 14 years to be exact. He was sentenced today to 14 years in jail for attacking workers on his ranch with a machete then setting them on fire.
The phillies will have to look elsewhere for bullpen help. It seems to be their achillies heel this year. I still think they should have held on to aaron fultz. I guess he was asking for too much money or something. Hopefully they can trade either leiber or rowand for something. The cubs are short a starter aren't they murph? Don't they have something they could trade in their bp?
Anyway, we'll wait to see what happens, i wouldn't be the least bit surprised if nothing happens between now and the end of april tradewise.

NFL conduct policy

Eventually this issue would get tackled here, so with Chris Henry getting caught driving with a suspended license, vehicle impounded, you know, just normal every month stuff for him, it's time to mention it.

Henry and Pacman Jones both have given the sport a "black eye", and you know what? It's time to stop. Henry specifically should have been more harshly punished for his providing minors with alcohol in his hotel room, that's worse than any drug, steroid, or traffic stop other than a DUI with a real alcohol content (.08 is nothing for a real man, try .15 or .2, that's a real DUI). An NFL player, using his fame and fortune to get underage kids drunk and, GASP, I bet he planned or did have sex with some of them. For that to get public, and with his history of pot charges, vehicle charges, whatever else I don't feel like looking up now, he should have gotten a year suspension.

There's how you police your league. What would happen to Dumbass Jones if Henry had gotten a year, and then Dumbass pulled that stunt in Vegas? He'd be gone a year, nobody would argue it because of the precedence, and the rest of the players would understand that when they mess up, there will be financial and playing time related repercussions, not what happens now where steroids are punished, and everything else is looked the other way. It's not a thug league, it's not a race thing (Kerry Collins comes to mind, go PSU!) but it is a problem that has festered due to the league trying to sweep character issues under the rug. It's the leagues fault they're in a tough spot with Dumbass, time to take a stand and put him and Henry on the sideline for a year.

NCAA tourney, viking obstacle course

Everyone I've watched the NCAA tourney with has gotten into the games, and these are people who never watch college bball (girlfriend, drinker, and a hippie) This tourney should be 128 teams big, at least, possibly the entire D1 lineup, there's no reason not to. OR do a preseason free for all tourney and have it be like NCAA championship II. Start the season with every team in D1 in a tourney together, end with the exclusive 64 tourney. Imagine the potential of a bracket pool type job with 200 teams or so, that'd have a crazy point system, and crazy swings in a pool. The last time I didn't watch a single elimination tourney was probably a women's sport. This is how i got into volleyball (indoor variety) tennis, and anything else. Tournaments rock.

Also, anybody seen the Viking Obstacle Course show? It's awesome and was on ESPN and ESPN2 a year ago or so.

Here's a link
http://youtube.com/watch?v=owPTalI3L4I

Anybody with information on where to watch this online or when it's coming on ESPN again or anywhere else, anything else like it, let me know. That shit's sweet and we should make one. That's what we need to video tape for this site, us making a viking obstacle course and each run it. Boo Aye
m8r

Multimedia message

Angela playing air hockey. Hey at least its sports related, plus its better than watching the flyers

A "hypothetical" day of Counter-Strike

Wow, I can't wait to get back to this game! (beats playing with my Wii by myself)
I've been playing for so many years and I'm still learning so much. (My scores used to be decent, now I'm a 10/30 kill/death ratio everytime)
My computer's not the best, but it's usable. (It's just good enough to run the game and since I'm to broke to buy a new game, or upgrade the comp, it's my only option)
I'm just going to start by closing all programs on the computer before playing to optimize performance. (My comp still sucks, and I convince myself this matters)
Once I'm in the game, I'm going to play the Gun Game mod cause it's fucking awesome. (The Gun Game mod's maps are all very simple and the only maps that don't lag on this POS a.k.a. my only option to play this game)
What's that? I don't get to choose weapons in this mod? No big deal, it's fun fighting with a pistol instead of an assault rifle. (After 7 years or so, I still can't kill people with a pistol, so sad)
Where'd that guy kill me from? Oh, sitting in a corner waiting for anyone to run through the door, great strategy. (I hate corner campers, esp. in small maps, real difficult, real challenge, real fun)
Another headshot? Man my head must be huge, I die by headshot 9/10 times in this game. Other people are very good. (So many cheaters in this game, yet I keep playing)
I killed someone! Wait, no, I just hit him 8 times for 96 damage, someone else came in and finished off his last 4HP, they got the kill. Good teamwork! (I'm awesome at averaging about 10 damage done for each bullet I put into someone, try shooting someone 9 times with an assault rifle and NOT killing them in a video game, I'm the king of it)
Ok, I just got knifed, fuck this stupid game, they all cheat, this game sucks, there's to much lag, what a shitty mod. (I'm going to leave the server I'm on, go find another crappy Gun Game server since it's all I can play on, and repeat this over and over again until I get hungry, tired, or see a good porno tag that gives me other ideas)
m8r

Welcome to Philadelphia Sports!

This is how it is in Philadelphia. Leiber is finally told he will goto the bullpen, which everyone in Philly knew anyway because he's the one who is being dangled in trades, so on the day it's made official, Garcia doesn't last an inning before going down hurt. Phillies fans, be ready for a long season. That ends in a playoff berth.... somehow

Initial Rant

So, here we go, rant time

Direct TV/MLB package/NFL network- just the stupidest idea ever, not the direct tv part (who wants a dish anymore with on demand cable?) but the fact that it would ever be only for certain people. If you have a channel or package for a major sport, it's either available across the board or not available at all. Isn't that what's best for the growth of the sport, the American public, and the world? Oh, wait, not the 10 people who will make money from the deal, they are all that matter. Hopefully Congress gets this one right on March 27th, stay tuned.

Announcers- I'm 23. I know what an end around is vs. a reverse. I know what a layup is vs. a runner in the lane. I know what a slap shot/snap shot/wrist shot/backhand is. Professional announcers mess these types of things up ALL THE TIME. Football is the worst, much more terminology, but if I know what a fake toss is, when it's a FB fake handoff, then a toss, that is not a fake toss, the handoff was the fake. I'll stop here, but you know what I mean, announcers, if you are announcing, don't screw up the obvious. There's a new generation of football fans out there that think an end around is a reverse thanks to the ree-ree's we have announcing. (Worst announcers- what sport? I say football hands down, but hockey announcers almost all have the most annoying voices)

Hockey in general- I'm skewed living in Philly, the Flyers stink, we knew they'd stink when they signed Hatcher/Rathje/Therien (again) instead of quick defensemen, but where is the sport? The worst thing that could have happened to hockey was losing ESPN as a broadcaster, now it is shown after women's bball, high school sports, and soccer on SportsCenter. Watch SportsCenter from the beginning, and tell me when the first non-violence/fight related hockey story is. I bet after 25-30 minutes most of the time. The sports faster, higher scoring, and less congested than it has been in 20 years, and nobody cares. Do we need to bring the trap back?

Baseball players taking their time- It's time for a "shot clock" in baseball. Pitchers do not need to walk around the mound every pitch. Nomar does not need to readjust every piece of equipment every pitch. Batters can take less than 1 minute to get from the on deck circle to be ready at the plate. Pitchers should have 20 seconds from the time the ball hits the catchers mitt to throw the next pitch, or it's a ball automatically. This could also add to the hilarity of a pitcher not being able to keep his hands dry in 100 degree heat and throwing balls directly to the dugout by accident. Who wouldn't want that? And also, pitching coaches should not get a "trip to the mound." These are grown men who have studied film and scouting reports on every hitter, if the pitcher doesn't, the catcher definitely has, what is this trip for?

Soccer players- STOP FLOPPING, YOU UNDERSTAND THERE'S REPLAY AND WE ALL SEE YOU FLOP. FIFA has to put a stop to this by looking at film, and fining/suspending floppers. Heavier suspensions if a card was issued on the play. European bball players are awful at flopping too, a recurring theme you will find in this blog, I blame Europe. Specifically....... Portugal this time.

More rants to come
m8r

cause for alarm?

the phillies are 7-13 in spring training. is this reason for concern? maybe, the phillies have said that they want to start the season strong. the last number of years the phillies have played like crap in april. this has been typically blamed for the phillies not making wildcard for at least the past two years. while spring training doesn't really count for much, i think it might give a little indication of what we have to expect in the early season. 7-13. doesn't look so pretty and i sincerly hope that the phils don't go 7-13 in their first 20 games of the season. to be fair, a lot of the starters didn't neccesarily play as much this spring as they will in april. but neither did the starters on the other teams. hopefully the phillies can start the season like they started the second half of last year, they had the best record in baseball for the second half of last season. they played so poorly in the first half, that even the best record for the second half couldn't get them in for the wildcard. our starting pitching is certainly improved. our catching situation i think is better. barajas should be better than lieberthal was last year, it's a shame though, that they didn't at least try to go with coste. our outfield is more or less the same. our infield however i think is going to be better this year than last year. now to the bullpen. right now how it looks, we have gordon, madson, geary, alfonseca, castro, brito, condrey, and smith. compare that to last year at this time and i think it is better. we have madson back in the pen full time without a shitty curveball. the phils aren't going to use flash as often so his arm won't fall off in late august. geary is the same, solid middle reliever/possibly setup man. alfonseca is a huge question mark, but the phils aren't paying him much so not a huge gamble. castro was way under the radar last year, he had an era under three. i understand that he wasn't put into any high pressure situations, but he still faced major league batters. brito may or may not make the cut, he might be replaced by bisenius or segovia either way, that spot isn't that bad. we know what to expect from condrey he was in the pen last year. and lastly we have matt smith. if his performance last year is any indication of what he can do, he is a much better lefty specialist than rheal. so i think that despite what bald prick says the phils bp is not that bad off. i did however just read and something saying that robinson tejeda is throwing in the upper 90s like 97. possible we wanted to hang onto him i think. but he did come out of the farm system i believe. all in all, i'm not sure if the 7-13 record is an issue or not. it is spring training, but i can't help but be concerned that a team that hasn't performed well in april for quite some time isn't going to again this year. which means catchup ball until the all-star break. again. well i'll never stop believing that this is the year.

beer o' meter = 0

Women's sports

Ok, women's NCAA tourney time, boy am I excited!

If you read that above statement, and concurred, please never read this blog again.

Women's sports are fantastic (and I mean that) womens soccer, tennis, volleyball (indoor or outdoor you pervs, not just because of the amazing bikini's those women wear.....) even women's track/swimming/olympic events.

Not basketball
Not hockey
Not softball (a sport where you can throw more than 1 perfect game in a season, let alone a career, has to be a joke)

Get any and all shows about any of those sports off of my TV. Forever. Title IX is beautiful, fair, but ESPN worthy they are NOT.

Basketball and hockey are problems to me because they are not the same sport. Sure women's bball is "more pure" and a "better game to watch" but those 2 items scream "crappy sport to anybody who knows anything about the sport." Hockey could easily be fixed, and actually possibly be a great game to watch on TV, if they ADDED CHECKING. 6 or 7 year old kids in canada body check each other, grown women can't? The talent at the top of the women's game is great, a good game to watch (and would improve drastically if they had a real sport, not just the hockey that 5 year olds are taught), and then it becomes a joke whenever they come near each other. Fighting for the puck is one thing, poking at it while the other woman shields it because you can't really touch her is another. This all said, I would give women's hockey a serious chance if it involved real hockey, esp. with the way the Flyers season has gone this year.

Basketball however, this is a joke of a sport for the following reasons

Smaller ball- grown women can't handle a regulation size ball? once again, there's 8 year olds making 3's with a regulation ball, deal with it or don't play the sport

How they shoot- the percentage of women who hoist awful looking shots (they work, but so do my sex moves with the woman, nobody wants to watch that either) I've been taught how to shoot a basketball properly from age 10 or so, grown women are COACHED to shoot like that? joke

Big fat women are unstoppable- Not even going to go further so i don't insult big fat women who don't play bball, not the point of this post, you know exactly what i'm talking about

The scores- If i were to tell you that men and women played college bball for the same amount of time per game (40 minutes) but women used a smaller ball, who would have the higher scoring games?

Get this shit off of my TV, isn't there a poker game/madden challenge/arena football game/fishing/golf on? I don't even like arena football/fishing/golf on TV much, but ANYTHING OTHER THAN FAKE SPORTS

Soccer, Volleyball, Tennis, Olympics/track/swimming- HORRAY TITLE IX
Basketball, hockey, softball (even Jennie Finch looks like a man in that sport, but someone had to be the poster girl) BOOOOOO TITLE IX YOU STINK BOOOOOOOOO

m8r

Its Beginning to Look alot like Last Year...

Remember how excited we all were when Pat Gillick brought Freddy Garia to the Phils in december? I remember. I remember thinkining: Finally, a GM whose decied to address pitching! Hell, we have one of the best rotations in the NL. We can beat the mets right?

Well unfortunatley, my high is gone. Pat Gillick obviously decided that getting Freddy Garcia was all that had to be done. Oh I'm sorry, i forgot about all the washups we signed. And the 900K slap in the face to howard.

Right now our setup man is a guy whose best stuff dried up three years ago(alfonseca), we have an aging closer with a bum shoulder(gordon), a guy whose never proven to have the CONSISTENT control neccessary to be a good pitcher(madson), a very solid, but mediocre LRP(Geary), and a bunch of kids who still need 2-3 years to even know if they got anything or not-and only one of them(castro) looks like he'll ever be anything special. Thats not addressing the bullpen

Raise your hand if you would have rather taken a chance on Dustin Hermanson(A 40 save closer for WS Champion) or Joe Borowski( a guy who had 38 saves last season) who both have only given up four hits through ST so far over fucking Alfonso Aflonseca and Jim Ed Warden? If your hand isn't raised its because just like Pat Gillick, its jammed squarely up your ass!

Now i understand that theres only so much that can be done via Free Agency-with that in mind, the blame must rest on the farm system. Yes, we have produced Jimmy Rollins, Chase Utley and Ryan Howard. Something is obviously going right. What is going wrong is the pitching development. Who is the last phillies pitching product besides Cole Hamels, who has been anything even remotely decent. Floyd was a bust, little did we know he was such a freaking headcase who couldn't seem to figure out "If i have a 97mph fastball, i shouldn't pitch it down the middle".

If the phillies spend one more cent this year, it should be on scouts and coaches. Wheres our Chad Cordero? Wheres' our Benitez? For as long as I can remember, our biggest deficency has been pitching and yet, we don't focus on developing players to address our number one problem. Christ, if we had pitching, we could have gone somewhere in 03, or 04, or 05, or 06, or you get the picture.


So please, Pat, get Montgomery and Giles to see the light. A couple of 100,000's could get us some great pitching coaches and development specialists. Let's do it.

A Pair of Shoes to Imagine Filling

*Note: This is Obviously Fiction. Enjoy!

I would like to thank the Sportswriters Association with all of the sincerity and gratitude possible of a lowly middle relief pitcher, for NOT nominating me for the Cy Young Award. Now, I know, it was a tough decision for all of you to NOT pick me. It must have been hard for you, to award instead, Roger Clemens, with this great honor. I mean, we couldn’t find Roger until July, when he had lost his last dollar in the ass crack of a skanky hooker at some shit hole, Podunk strip club in the middle of Texas and decided “Hey, I need some Cash, how about I call up the Yankees. Those dumb fucks will pay me!” But sure enough, he came back, and we all fell awe struck under his deep, penetrating gaze, and we did our best not to come in our pants the moment he drove his broken down Silverado into the Yankee Stadium parking lot.

So the rocket met with George and Joe, picked up a quick 20 mil, put on his pantyhose and Yankee pinstripes, lubed up with his Ben-Gay, and trotted out to the mound in the Bronx, on a sweltering July Afternoon, and somehow managed to work through the obnoxious chants of the fans, and the putrid smell of a sweaty Alex Rodriguez and pulled a two hitter out of his bloated, overpaid, fat ass. Then, we all wept and the rocket cradled us in his arms, and kissed us on the forehead, and slowly fell asleep with us, dreaming together of World Series Rings and Yankee’s Merchandise Receipts.

Meanwhile, I was rotting away in Kansas City, running onto the field with some of the worst players off all time, and putting up K’s like they were going out of style, and in Kansas City, they’ve been out of vogue since 1989. See here’s how it works : I get to the ballpark, say, 10 minutes before the game, I stretch for about two minutes, jog for like, half a minute, force out a quick one in the john, and then I sit on the bench.

Now, August in the Royals bullpen is what god had in mind when he created hell. There’s nothing worse than a 115 degree day, knowing that you’re sweating your balls off to lose by ten runs. And even if those worthless assholes you call your teammates manage to get off to a ten run lead instead of a deficit, by the 6^th, were down by five.

When I think of what I did, in my life to deserve to be a member of the illustrious Kansas City Royals, I somehow seem to forget all those of children and puppies and priests I murdered while fucking myself with a crucifix.

So it’s the seventh inning and its time for me to shine ladies and deadbeat drunks. By this point, I’ve gotten through two, maybe three pints of wild turkey- My steroids come from an oak barrel in Kentucky thank you very much-, and I come out of that fence, and stumble onto the mound. Catch comes up and asks me if I’m going to vomit and shake no, with my head, and he pats me on the shoulder and walks back to the plate. I grab my rosin bag, give it a quick toss in my hand, stare the batter down, and let loose like a Hurricane, WA-HOO!, its going to be a wild inning. One, two, three, I knock em’ down like a fat wife in a trailer. I walk off the mound, puke on the pen catcher, and pass out in the locker room. I wake up, and everyone looks as somber as they always do, every single day from April to September, and I remind myself, that the Gun Shop is only a quarter mile away.

So please three cheers for the Rocket! Let’s give a big round of applause to the guy whose idea of a Journeyman is a hobbit, and covet him with more money, and more endorsements, and more praise for only doing a fraction of the job that a guy like me does day in and day out. So if you’re not going to give me any praise, the least you can do is buy me a drink. That is of course, if there’s any left, considering the company I am in.

Madden- PS2 Xbox Wii talk

Time to get some posts up here, time to ramble about crap I like to do and feel I'm an expert at. One thing I am an expert at is Madden (06 and 07, 2k5 is still the best, fuck you EA and NFL licensing, fuck you) Madden 06 and 07 on the ps2 and xbox were near perfect games. Of course you have minor problems, but the bottom line is that when playing your friends, the game almost never ever ever screwed you by being a bad game. Offense, defense, special teams, presnap audibles, they even added QB vision which was amazing (if you don't like the QB vision, you're not an expert, and yes, any challengers are welcome) After countless whoopings on my friends on the box, it was time to take the next step to the Wii and see how Madden could adapt.

Well, it did pretty damn well for a first game. There are glaring problems with the game (PASS DEFENSE) ok, so there's one glaring problem. but it's a huge one. unless you are champ bailey or someone almost as good, you cannot bat a ball out of the air. sometimes, you try to catch it, even though you only moved the Wiimote. sometimes, your guy doesn't move, and it says "swat failed" and other times, you go right up and just whiff (this would be OK if you actually hit it sometimes too.) Unlike the ps2 and xbox 06 and 07, where the pass defense was extremely well done, the Wii is lacking. What this leads to is no reason not to throw it deep every play. Add in that the computer on your team (i play on all-pro) will not stop a guy in quad coverage on an out, a comeback, a deep ball, a post, anything, and you have to play the defense yourself, which is fine, if it worked. Incase you couldn't tell, I play the safety, so pass defense WAS a huge part of how i won. Now i'm just back there to run away and tackle the guy after he makes another crazy catch.

Now for the POSITIVES

Highlight stick, less gay due to the motion needed (push wiimote and nunchuck forward at the same time) so if you pull it off, you earned it instead of just hitting up on the thumbstick
stiff arms- nothing better than actually making the stiff arm motion right next to your friend while he can't tackle you on screen (adding mocking words like "i waved my arm, and you weren't tackling me, how does that work?" add extra fun)
double jukes- move nunchuck and wiimote left or right together, SICK SICK double jukes
mini games- 2v2 or a 4 player passing skeleton mini-game, crazy fun in addition to rushing attack and 2 minute drill already there
taunting- now when streaking to the endzone, wave your controller, you wave to the crowd, swing the motes like you're double juking back and forth, the guy does that on the screen, taunting taken to a whole new level
passing- no more of this "pressure sensitive buttons" you want a bullet, snap it hard, you want a lob, lay it out there lightly

now for a few NEGATIVES

presnap adjustments- you have to click your guy/group that you want to adjust with the pointer. especially crappy for hot routing receivers, gee, who am i adjusting? the guy i highlighted and the big fuckin menu popped up? probably him
PASS DEFENSE- had to be mentioned again
catching- lift both remotes up like you're catching, but sometimes, on offense, you'll swat the ball. sometimes, on defense, you'll try to make a big hit (leading to PI, and hilarity sometimes) this way of catching also feels very weird trying to jump for the ball, cause you have to lift the remotes at the same time you'd time your Y button to leap in the xbox version, just feels strange not catching when the ball would hit your hands
not a pick up and play game- this is another huge disappointment. the learning curve is so steep, you can't just play anybody who has ever played a football game. if you play anybody who isn't extremely familiar with all aspects of the Wii controls, you will kill them with a Europe team

I'm done ranting now, can't wait for Tiger Woods on the Wii, waiting on MC to get that hopefully. Anyone gamers reading this, if you know where Ambler is and wanna meet up to play any games, let us know. Just hopefully not Madden, cause you will lose and hate us forever.

Phillies winning 90+

WAYS THE PHILLIES WIN 90
Pat Burrell learns to hit the outside curveball
Pat the Bat learns not to cower like a biatcha on an inside fastball
Brett Meyers wife doesn't overcook the steak again
Jimmy Rollins doesn't swing for the fences OR
Jimmy Rollins doesn't lead off anymore
Our relievers understand they're relieving a ballgame, not just giving the guy a break and pitching batting practice
Chase Utley and Ryan Howard are on the team and uninjured (nagging injuries are just as bad)
Our over the hill pitchers pull a Jack and Jill and slide back a few years
Cole's "goosebumps" aren't from the KY being to cold (he looks like a pansy in those commercials, not the most imposing figure as of now)
Our 3rd baseman has half as many errors as Da-Bell's 20+
Shane Victorino plays like a starter, does not regress to bench status
Aaron Rowand hits the padding on the walls
Flash's fastball actually sets up his breaking ball by being fast again
They play in the NL
Utley and Howard are on the team
What did I miss?
Playoffs baby, playoffs

really funny college quote from case in points

"I had this idea, and I'm not sure if it's really good or really awful. It'd be a System of a Down tribute band whose members all have learning disabilities, and they'd be called Syndrome of a Down... is that a good idea or a really really bad idea?"-Diarmaid, on losing combinations

this just struck me as really funny, i actually loled at work. anyway that's about it.


fyi beer o' meter = 0

the state of the phillies

i think that the phillies are legit this year. i predict 92 wins, it will be a tight race with the mets, and the phils will prolly get the wildcard if they don't get the division. the mets starting pitching is suspect, but it was last year and you can see where that got them. the only team in the nl that will be a problem in the wildcard race might be the dodgers. andywho, the phils upgraded their starters. last year at this time, they had lieber and myers at the top, then lidle madson and floyd. this year, still lieber and myers, but followed by cole hamels, who had a good year last year, freddy garcia, who had a good year last year, jamie moyer and adam eaton. which is a huge improvement. moyer is a work horse and will be a reliable guy. eaton and lieber are question marks. as it looks now, one of the two is going to the bullpen. eaton has some good stuff but is injury prone, and lieber is in a contract year. you can't have too much starting pitching. i think the phillies are hoping that someone will need a starter close to the start of the season that is willing to give up a good reliever. fat chance i think, looks like lieber or eaton is going to the bp. i think it should be eaton, lieber would be terrible in the bp, but eaton does take an inning or two to get going. so in reality it's a toss-up. i'm starting to like the looks of the bullpen, i think it needs some help, but all-in-all it doesn't look that hopeless. flash geary and madson are all solid pitchers. i did like matt smith's performance last season and i like him as the lefty specialist. he will most likely make the bp. they will also go with alfonseca. i believe that leaves 2 spots left. i really like fabio castro, he had some good numbers last year. they are a little deceptive though, he didn't pitch in any pressure situations and was only on the staff because he was a rule 5 draftee. the phillies have to decide if they would rather have him be a reliever in philly or a starter in AAA. i also like brito, he pitched for the first time this spring on sunday. he retired all three batters he faced, it looked really good concidering that he was in an automobile accident in late december and was unable to lift a spoon to eat for the first three weeks. there are some other pitchers that are making a bit of a splash, germano, happ and bisenius are showing that they might have some major league stuff, however they will most likely not play in the big leagues until september. but they are certainly worth watching nonetheless. that's about it for phils pitching right now. keep in mind that it's still spring training and that means almost nothing for pitchers. or almost any other player for that matter. the only other thing to discuss with the phils is the remaining two bench spots. werth and helms have guaranteed spots on the roster and with dobbs and garcia doing well and the aquisition of ruiz in the off season, a spot on the phils bench is look bleak for chris coste. that is really a shame, he had quite the cinderella story for 2006. he was on the 25 man roster up until the night before opening day in 06 until the signing of delucci on the eve of the opening game. he was then later called up and caught most of the games towards the end of the season when fasano was released and lieberthal was hurt. i really like coste. he hit over .300 last season and is a good catcher. however, his chances are slim with the garcia and dobbs doing well. one is a left hander, which they want on the bench, and the other is just flat out doing better. at the very least, we will see him in september. it really is a shame after what he was able to do for the phillies last year, but the phillies are gearing up to win this season, i think. i would not be surprised if you see the phillies in the world series. we have the best infield offensively, most likely the best starting rotation in the nl, and i think burrell will have a good season so the phils are going all the way, well at least to the world series, the al looks better than the nl again this year so yankees/red sox/detroit/white sox against the phils in the world series is going to be tought. just to reiterate, the phils 92 wins, close race for the division, guaranteed post season spot with the wild card at the least. the dodgers threaten a little bit, but i don't think that more than one team in the nl central will get close to 90 wins and the nl west is a joke other than the padres. the dodgers could do something, but if lieberthal plays more than 45 games, they are in trouble. anyway i think that is it for the phils in the time being. let me know what you think.

btw beer o' meter = 8 just fyi.

First post all about sports and games from ambler

My name's Alex, you will see me from now on as m8r. I'm sitting here with Mike who you will see from now on as mcbolger and we decided to start a blog. We read websites like ESPN.com and gamefaqs.com and realized, why don't we have a blog to top the crappy lists and shitty ideas from other blogs? gamefaqs.com top 10 lists suck, espn.com's page 2 has gone straight down the toilet, and the funniest shit we've seen on the internet was our fantasy football message board, which was basically the lamest, most inside jokey blog of all time. and it was awesome. we'll be here taking out the inside jokes, adding in outside jokes, whatever they are, and making plenty of asinine, unresearched comments on the world of sports and video games such as "Bobby Abreu sucks, he is SO NOT CLUTCH" to "Super Mario 3 is the most innovative video game of all time." either of those 2 things true? to us, YES (maybe, sorta) that's why it's our blog. if we ever learn about how to get other people to write posts for the blog, the writers will multiply exponentially (at least by 2 or 3) We'll be back tomorrow. Who the fuck am i talking to now? nobody reads this yet
but they will
m8r