Phillies winning 90+

WAYS THE PHILLIES WIN 90
Pat Burrell learns to hit the outside curveball
Pat the Bat learns not to cower like a biatcha on an inside fastball
Brett Meyers wife doesn't overcook the steak again
Jimmy Rollins doesn't swing for the fences OR
Jimmy Rollins doesn't lead off anymore
Our relievers understand they're relieving a ballgame, not just giving the guy a break and pitching batting practice
Chase Utley and Ryan Howard are on the team and uninjured (nagging injuries are just as bad)
Our over the hill pitchers pull a Jack and Jill and slide back a few years
Cole's "goosebumps" aren't from the KY being to cold (he looks like a pansy in those commercials, not the most imposing figure as of now)
Our 3rd baseman has half as many errors as Da-Bell's 20+
Shane Victorino plays like a starter, does not regress to bench status
Aaron Rowand hits the padding on the walls
Flash's fastball actually sets up his breaking ball by being fast again
They play in the NL
Utley and Howard are on the team
What did I miss?
Playoffs baby, playoffs