surprise surprise

i am honestly surprised. pat burrell is doing well so far. i'm glad, it's like he gives a damn. he's making some plays in the field, i liked the diving catch he made the other day. it looks like he's swinging more at that inside pitch. his obp is at .500 he's got the second most rbi's he's one of two hitters hitting over .300. things are looking up for the patmeister. he keeps playing like this and he might actually get some cheers instead of boos.
i'm also glad that jimmy rollins is doing well to start. he's hitting like a maniac. he's leading the team in hr, slugging percentage, rbis, and runs scored. did you see him hit that inside the park homerun against the marlins? that was incredible. he is playing his ass off. really, he kind of has to after his preseason predictions.
i realize it's only six games in. pat the bat was a bit of a question mark and i really hope he keeps it up. if jimmy rollins keeps hitting like this, they may have to move him out of the lead off spot.
you know what i am also surprised about? alfonseca. i was really not sure if he was going to be effective or not. right now he seems like their go to guy. you know who's also pitching his ass off? clay condrey. he really doesn't want to go up to ottowa. can't say i blame him. homer simpson had it right when he called canada "america junior". he almost tied the record for consecutive strikeouts by a phillies reliever. he keeps that up, we may have found our elusive setupman/closer.
it's really a shame that we only have two batters with averages over .300. it's a potent offense on paper, but i'm sure i say that every year. hey look at that, speaking of pitching his ass/arm off. cole the pole just struck out two in the first inning.

that's all folks

Looks like Urbina is NOT coming back to baseball anytime soon. 14 years to be exact. He was sentenced today to 14 years in jail for attacking workers on his ranch with a machete then setting them on fire.
The phillies will have to look elsewhere for bullpen help. It seems to be their achillies heel this year. I still think they should have held on to aaron fultz. I guess he was asking for too much money or something. Hopefully they can trade either leiber or rowand for something. The cubs are short a starter aren't they murph? Don't they have something they could trade in their bp?
Anyway, we'll wait to see what happens, i wouldn't be the least bit surprised if nothing happens between now and the end of april tradewise.

NFL conduct policy

Eventually this issue would get tackled here, so with Chris Henry getting caught driving with a suspended license, vehicle impounded, you know, just normal every month stuff for him, it's time to mention it.

Henry and Pacman Jones both have given the sport a "black eye", and you know what? It's time to stop. Henry specifically should have been more harshly punished for his providing minors with alcohol in his hotel room, that's worse than any drug, steroid, or traffic stop other than a DUI with a real alcohol content (.08 is nothing for a real man, try .15 or .2, that's a real DUI). An NFL player, using his fame and fortune to get underage kids drunk and, GASP, I bet he planned or did have sex with some of them. For that to get public, and with his history of pot charges, vehicle charges, whatever else I don't feel like looking up now, he should have gotten a year suspension.

There's how you police your league. What would happen to Dumbass Jones if Henry had gotten a year, and then Dumbass pulled that stunt in Vegas? He'd be gone a year, nobody would argue it because of the precedence, and the rest of the players would understand that when they mess up, there will be financial and playing time related repercussions, not what happens now where steroids are punished, and everything else is looked the other way. It's not a thug league, it's not a race thing (Kerry Collins comes to mind, go PSU!) but it is a problem that has festered due to the league trying to sweep character issues under the rug. It's the leagues fault they're in a tough spot with Dumbass, time to take a stand and put him and Henry on the sideline for a year.

NCAA tourney, viking obstacle course

Everyone I've watched the NCAA tourney with has gotten into the games, and these are people who never watch college bball (girlfriend, drinker, and a hippie) This tourney should be 128 teams big, at least, possibly the entire D1 lineup, there's no reason not to. OR do a preseason free for all tourney and have it be like NCAA championship II. Start the season with every team in D1 in a tourney together, end with the exclusive 64 tourney. Imagine the potential of a bracket pool type job with 200 teams or so, that'd have a crazy point system, and crazy swings in a pool. The last time I didn't watch a single elimination tourney was probably a women's sport. This is how i got into volleyball (indoor variety) tennis, and anything else. Tournaments rock.

Also, anybody seen the Viking Obstacle Course show? It's awesome and was on ESPN and ESPN2 a year ago or so.

Here's a link
http://youtube.com/watch?v=owPTalI3L4I

Anybody with information on where to watch this online or when it's coming on ESPN again or anywhere else, anything else like it, let me know. That shit's sweet and we should make one. That's what we need to video tape for this site, us making a viking obstacle course and each run it. Boo Aye
m8r

Multimedia message

Angela playing air hockey. Hey at least its sports related, plus its better than watching the flyers

cause for alarm?

the phillies are 7-13 in spring training. is this reason for concern? maybe, the phillies have said that they want to start the season strong. the last number of years the phillies have played like crap in april. this has been typically blamed for the phillies not making wildcard for at least the past two years. while spring training doesn't really count for much, i think it might give a little indication of what we have to expect in the early season. 7-13. doesn't look so pretty and i sincerly hope that the phils don't go 7-13 in their first 20 games of the season. to be fair, a lot of the starters didn't neccesarily play as much this spring as they will in april. but neither did the starters on the other teams. hopefully the phillies can start the season like they started the second half of last year, they had the best record in baseball for the second half of last season. they played so poorly in the first half, that even the best record for the second half couldn't get them in for the wildcard. our starting pitching is certainly improved. our catching situation i think is better. barajas should be better than lieberthal was last year, it's a shame though, that they didn't at least try to go with coste. our outfield is more or less the same. our infield however i think is going to be better this year than last year. now to the bullpen. right now how it looks, we have gordon, madson, geary, alfonseca, castro, brito, condrey, and smith. compare that to last year at this time and i think it is better. we have madson back in the pen full time without a shitty curveball. the phils aren't going to use flash as often so his arm won't fall off in late august. geary is the same, solid middle reliever/possibly setup man. alfonseca is a huge question mark, but the phils aren't paying him much so not a huge gamble. castro was way under the radar last year, he had an era under three. i understand that he wasn't put into any high pressure situations, but he still faced major league batters. brito may or may not make the cut, he might be replaced by bisenius or segovia either way, that spot isn't that bad. we know what to expect from condrey he was in the pen last year. and lastly we have matt smith. if his performance last year is any indication of what he can do, he is a much better lefty specialist than rheal. so i think that despite what bald prick says the phils bp is not that bad off. i did however just read and something saying that robinson tejeda is throwing in the upper 90s like 97. possible we wanted to hang onto him i think. but he did come out of the farm system i believe. all in all, i'm not sure if the 7-13 record is an issue or not. it is spring training, but i can't help but be concerned that a team that hasn't performed well in april for quite some time isn't going to again this year. which means catchup ball until the all-star break. again. well i'll never stop believing that this is the year.

beer o' meter = 0

Women's sports

Ok, women's NCAA tourney time, boy am I excited!

If you read that above statement, and concurred, please never read this blog again.

Women's sports are fantastic (and I mean that) womens soccer, tennis, volleyball (indoor or outdoor you pervs, not just because of the amazing bikini's those women wear.....) even women's track/swimming/olympic events.

Not basketball
Not hockey
Not softball (a sport where you can throw more than 1 perfect game in a season, let alone a career, has to be a joke)

Get any and all shows about any of those sports off of my TV. Forever. Title IX is beautiful, fair, but ESPN worthy they are NOT.

Basketball and hockey are problems to me because they are not the same sport. Sure women's bball is "more pure" and a "better game to watch" but those 2 items scream "crappy sport to anybody who knows anything about the sport." Hockey could easily be fixed, and actually possibly be a great game to watch on TV, if they ADDED CHECKING. 6 or 7 year old kids in canada body check each other, grown women can't? The talent at the top of the women's game is great, a good game to watch (and would improve drastically if they had a real sport, not just the hockey that 5 year olds are taught), and then it becomes a joke whenever they come near each other. Fighting for the puck is one thing, poking at it while the other woman shields it because you can't really touch her is another. This all said, I would give women's hockey a serious chance if it involved real hockey, esp. with the way the Flyers season has gone this year.

Basketball however, this is a joke of a sport for the following reasons

Smaller ball- grown women can't handle a regulation size ball? once again, there's 8 year olds making 3's with a regulation ball, deal with it or don't play the sport

How they shoot- the percentage of women who hoist awful looking shots (they work, but so do my sex moves with the woman, nobody wants to watch that either) I've been taught how to shoot a basketball properly from age 10 or so, grown women are COACHED to shoot like that? joke

Big fat women are unstoppable- Not even going to go further so i don't insult big fat women who don't play bball, not the point of this post, you know exactly what i'm talking about

The scores- If i were to tell you that men and women played college bball for the same amount of time per game (40 minutes) but women used a smaller ball, who would have the higher scoring games?

Get this shit off of my TV, isn't there a poker game/madden challenge/arena football game/fishing/golf on? I don't even like arena football/fishing/golf on TV much, but ANYTHING OTHER THAN FAKE SPORTS

Soccer, Volleyball, Tennis, Olympics/track/swimming- HORRAY TITLE IX
Basketball, hockey, softball (even Jennie Finch looks like a man in that sport, but someone had to be the poster girl) BOOOOOO TITLE IX YOU STINK BOOOOOOOOO

m8r

Its Beginning to Look alot like Last Year...

Remember how excited we all were when Pat Gillick brought Freddy Garia to the Phils in december? I remember. I remember thinkining: Finally, a GM whose decied to address pitching! Hell, we have one of the best rotations in the NL. We can beat the mets right?

Well unfortunatley, my high is gone. Pat Gillick obviously decided that getting Freddy Garcia was all that had to be done. Oh I'm sorry, i forgot about all the washups we signed. And the 900K slap in the face to howard.

Right now our setup man is a guy whose best stuff dried up three years ago(alfonseca), we have an aging closer with a bum shoulder(gordon), a guy whose never proven to have the CONSISTENT control neccessary to be a good pitcher(madson), a very solid, but mediocre LRP(Geary), and a bunch of kids who still need 2-3 years to even know if they got anything or not-and only one of them(castro) looks like he'll ever be anything special. Thats not addressing the bullpen

Raise your hand if you would have rather taken a chance on Dustin Hermanson(A 40 save closer for WS Champion) or Joe Borowski( a guy who had 38 saves last season) who both have only given up four hits through ST so far over fucking Alfonso Aflonseca and Jim Ed Warden? If your hand isn't raised its because just like Pat Gillick, its jammed squarely up your ass!

Now i understand that theres only so much that can be done via Free Agency-with that in mind, the blame must rest on the farm system. Yes, we have produced Jimmy Rollins, Chase Utley and Ryan Howard. Something is obviously going right. What is going wrong is the pitching development. Who is the last phillies pitching product besides Cole Hamels, who has been anything even remotely decent. Floyd was a bust, little did we know he was such a freaking headcase who couldn't seem to figure out "If i have a 97mph fastball, i shouldn't pitch it down the middle".

If the phillies spend one more cent this year, it should be on scouts and coaches. Wheres our Chad Cordero? Wheres' our Benitez? For as long as I can remember, our biggest deficency has been pitching and yet, we don't focus on developing players to address our number one problem. Christ, if we had pitching, we could have gone somewhere in 03, or 04, or 05, or 06, or you get the picture.


So please, Pat, get Montgomery and Giles to see the light. A couple of 100,000's could get us some great pitching coaches and development specialists. Let's do it.

A Pair of Shoes to Imagine Filling

*Note: This is Obviously Fiction. Enjoy!

I would like to thank the Sportswriters Association with all of the sincerity and gratitude possible of a lowly middle relief pitcher, for NOT nominating me for the Cy Young Award. Now, I know, it was a tough decision for all of you to NOT pick me. It must have been hard for you, to award instead, Roger Clemens, with this great honor. I mean, we couldn’t find Roger until July, when he had lost his last dollar in the ass crack of a skanky hooker at some shit hole, Podunk strip club in the middle of Texas and decided “Hey, I need some Cash, how about I call up the Yankees. Those dumb fucks will pay me!” But sure enough, he came back, and we all fell awe struck under his deep, penetrating gaze, and we did our best not to come in our pants the moment he drove his broken down Silverado into the Yankee Stadium parking lot.

So the rocket met with George and Joe, picked up a quick 20 mil, put on his pantyhose and Yankee pinstripes, lubed up with his Ben-Gay, and trotted out to the mound in the Bronx, on a sweltering July Afternoon, and somehow managed to work through the obnoxious chants of the fans, and the putrid smell of a sweaty Alex Rodriguez and pulled a two hitter out of his bloated, overpaid, fat ass. Then, we all wept and the rocket cradled us in his arms, and kissed us on the forehead, and slowly fell asleep with us, dreaming together of World Series Rings and Yankee’s Merchandise Receipts.

Meanwhile, I was rotting away in Kansas City, running onto the field with some of the worst players off all time, and putting up K’s like they were going out of style, and in Kansas City, they’ve been out of vogue since 1989. See here’s how it works : I get to the ballpark, say, 10 minutes before the game, I stretch for about two minutes, jog for like, half a minute, force out a quick one in the john, and then I sit on the bench.

Now, August in the Royals bullpen is what god had in mind when he created hell. There’s nothing worse than a 115 degree day, knowing that you’re sweating your balls off to lose by ten runs. And even if those worthless assholes you call your teammates manage to get off to a ten run lead instead of a deficit, by the 6^th, were down by five.

When I think of what I did, in my life to deserve to be a member of the illustrious Kansas City Royals, I somehow seem to forget all those of children and puppies and priests I murdered while fucking myself with a crucifix.

So it’s the seventh inning and its time for me to shine ladies and deadbeat drunks. By this point, I’ve gotten through two, maybe three pints of wild turkey- My steroids come from an oak barrel in Kentucky thank you very much-, and I come out of that fence, and stumble onto the mound. Catch comes up and asks me if I’m going to vomit and shake no, with my head, and he pats me on the shoulder and walks back to the plate. I grab my rosin bag, give it a quick toss in my hand, stare the batter down, and let loose like a Hurricane, WA-HOO!, its going to be a wild inning. One, two, three, I knock em’ down like a fat wife in a trailer. I walk off the mound, puke on the pen catcher, and pass out in the locker room. I wake up, and everyone looks as somber as they always do, every single day from April to September, and I remind myself, that the Gun Shop is only a quarter mile away.

So please three cheers for the Rocket! Let’s give a big round of applause to the guy whose idea of a Journeyman is a hobbit, and covet him with more money, and more endorsements, and more praise for only doing a fraction of the job that a guy like me does day in and day out. So if you’re not going to give me any praise, the least you can do is buy me a drink. That is of course, if there’s any left, considering the company I am in.

Phillies winning 90+

WAYS THE PHILLIES WIN 90
Pat Burrell learns to hit the outside curveball
Pat the Bat learns not to cower like a biatcha on an inside fastball
Brett Meyers wife doesn't overcook the steak again
Jimmy Rollins doesn't swing for the fences OR
Jimmy Rollins doesn't lead off anymore
Our relievers understand they're relieving a ballgame, not just giving the guy a break and pitching batting practice
Chase Utley and Ryan Howard are on the team and uninjured (nagging injuries are just as bad)
Our over the hill pitchers pull a Jack and Jill and slide back a few years
Cole's "goosebumps" aren't from the KY being to cold (he looks like a pansy in those commercials, not the most imposing figure as of now)
Our 3rd baseman has half as many errors as Da-Bell's 20+
Shane Victorino plays like a starter, does not regress to bench status
Aaron Rowand hits the padding on the walls
Flash's fastball actually sets up his breaking ball by being fast again
They play in the NL
Utley and Howard are on the team
What did I miss?
Playoffs baby, playoffs

the state of the phillies

i think that the phillies are legit this year. i predict 92 wins, it will be a tight race with the mets, and the phils will prolly get the wildcard if they don't get the division. the mets starting pitching is suspect, but it was last year and you can see where that got them. the only team in the nl that will be a problem in the wildcard race might be the dodgers. andywho, the phils upgraded their starters. last year at this time, they had lieber and myers at the top, then lidle madson and floyd. this year, still lieber and myers, but followed by cole hamels, who had a good year last year, freddy garcia, who had a good year last year, jamie moyer and adam eaton. which is a huge improvement. moyer is a work horse and will be a reliable guy. eaton and lieber are question marks. as it looks now, one of the two is going to the bullpen. eaton has some good stuff but is injury prone, and lieber is in a contract year. you can't have too much starting pitching. i think the phillies are hoping that someone will need a starter close to the start of the season that is willing to give up a good reliever. fat chance i think, looks like lieber or eaton is going to the bp. i think it should be eaton, lieber would be terrible in the bp, but eaton does take an inning or two to get going. so in reality it's a toss-up. i'm starting to like the looks of the bullpen, i think it needs some help, but all-in-all it doesn't look that hopeless. flash geary and madson are all solid pitchers. i did like matt smith's performance last season and i like him as the lefty specialist. he will most likely make the bp. they will also go with alfonseca. i believe that leaves 2 spots left. i really like fabio castro, he had some good numbers last year. they are a little deceptive though, he didn't pitch in any pressure situations and was only on the staff because he was a rule 5 draftee. the phillies have to decide if they would rather have him be a reliever in philly or a starter in AAA. i also like brito, he pitched for the first time this spring on sunday. he retired all three batters he faced, it looked really good concidering that he was in an automobile accident in late december and was unable to lift a spoon to eat for the first three weeks. there are some other pitchers that are making a bit of a splash, germano, happ and bisenius are showing that they might have some major league stuff, however they will most likely not play in the big leagues until september. but they are certainly worth watching nonetheless. that's about it for phils pitching right now. keep in mind that it's still spring training and that means almost nothing for pitchers. or almost any other player for that matter. the only other thing to discuss with the phils is the remaining two bench spots. werth and helms have guaranteed spots on the roster and with dobbs and garcia doing well and the aquisition of ruiz in the off season, a spot on the phils bench is look bleak for chris coste. that is really a shame, he had quite the cinderella story for 2006. he was on the 25 man roster up until the night before opening day in 06 until the signing of delucci on the eve of the opening game. he was then later called up and caught most of the games towards the end of the season when fasano was released and lieberthal was hurt. i really like coste. he hit over .300 last season and is a good catcher. however, his chances are slim with the garcia and dobbs doing well. one is a left hander, which they want on the bench, and the other is just flat out doing better. at the very least, we will see him in september. it really is a shame after what he was able to do for the phillies last year, but the phillies are gearing up to win this season, i think. i would not be surprised if you see the phillies in the world series. we have the best infield offensively, most likely the best starting rotation in the nl, and i think burrell will have a good season so the phils are going all the way, well at least to the world series, the al looks better than the nl again this year so yankees/red sox/detroit/white sox against the phils in the world series is going to be tought. just to reiterate, the phils 92 wins, close race for the division, guaranteed post season spot with the wild card at the least. the dodgers threaten a little bit, but i don't think that more than one team in the nl central will get close to 90 wins and the nl west is a joke other than the padres. the dodgers could do something, but if lieberthal plays more than 45 games, they are in trouble. anyway i think that is it for the phils in the time being. let me know what you think.

btw beer o' meter = 8 just fyi.